she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
