I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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