New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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