that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
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