This is not my ceiling
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
