Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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