Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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