You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
