Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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