That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
