I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
