I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
