There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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