one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
