Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
