WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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