No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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