Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
