is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
