Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Randomize
