I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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