I'm so fucking centered right now
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
