i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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