then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize