The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
