I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
