I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
