i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's get the cat blown out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
