I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
