3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
