Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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