I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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