This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
