I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
