well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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