Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize