thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
