Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
