Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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