If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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