My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
