Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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