we have pet lesbian snakes
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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