considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
