i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
