the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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