are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
