Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
