I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
