I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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