I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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