I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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