Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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