in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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