There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
