a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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