Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
