Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
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Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.