matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
