I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings