No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf