i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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