in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
