Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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