he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
