@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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