I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
