when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You don't make any sense
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