we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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