ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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