When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Where are you guys?
Drunk
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
