Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
