Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
