I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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