how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize