just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also, beer. Big fan.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
