i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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