You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
