the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
