sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
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I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
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good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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